Mystification

is freezing cool outside

early in the morning
strong wind blew
even my baby
staying out there catch a cold

feeling blank in my mind
knew something
i had stopped
stopped at a point
I'm not growing

everybody
feeling stress for the trial
but
I'm not
still relaxing here....
I don't know why

i wish i could feel that stress they having....
sometimes
i really wish that i could sit down
quietly
and pick up my book to study
study all those teachers taught before
but
i just couldn't
my mind
can't concentrate

you told me before
habit can change
i had tried
but
after a while
I'll fall asleep
i knew
my determination is not strong enough
I'm not enough focus on what i study

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

I'm lost....
i really don't know how am i going to do

not even know my direction
nobody can decide for me
is my future
i knew
i got to make the decision on my own
felt so helpless....