Long time no see.

Hi, blog. :)
Really long time no see..
How's life?
Good? Bad?
Doesn't really that important anymore.
As long as I am alive and living on, that's it.

I'm single but I doesn't wanna be available anymore.
Not because of him or whatever, just that I doesn't want to.
I don't even know what I want now.
Everything felt so miserable for me..
Work? Love? Family?
Who am I?
What I wanna do?
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW ABOUT ANYTHING!!!

_________________________________________________________________________________

是..
我又在钻牛角尖了..

这世界有太多道理
当我们把所有的道理都摆在一块儿
就互相矛盾了
道理也是人想出来的
人自己本身都很矛盾了
也许也只是那么刚好某句道理说服了自己停止想象那一切
但..
我知道..
当下没有一句大道理能让我清醒 指引我方向...

_________________________________________________________________________________

L I F E   D O E S N ' T   S U C K

I   A M   T H E   O N E

End of 2012.

The very last month of 2012.
Indeed, this month made me felt what "stress" really is.

I wasn't even know what stress is before this month.
Exam, coursework, test, prom night, problems, problems and problems!!
Lots of it really kill me even though I'm still alive here typing this post.
But my mental and mind wasn't here anymore.
I'm way too tired for all of these.
One more week later I'll be free with two weeks holidays!
YeePeeee~  ❤



What should be done and what shouldn't?
I'm so confused for all that and I feel I didn't getting back anything I desired for.
Big SIGH!!


The long long story might come to an end...
but I really hope that it could carry on and on until I face the death.
What more can I do to maintain and retain it?
Doesn't I done enough for it?
I'm so tired for this...
Really hope to end it but I couldn't bear to let go.
God, My Lord, please show me a path.
How and what should I do?
The start of it was lead by You and I really trusted You so much yet, I'm afraid I can't carry on anymore...




Please let me....  show me how to love you....

Do you.? :')

I'm still having uncertainty in my mind..
Do you ever care?
I think, you do.
but, how much?

I really felt like being neglected..
All I want is just that simple.
and yet, you doesn't know.
How I wish to be single and alone now.
I don't wanna to care that much please.
Just let me be myself but not the one who think so much for you
and yet, doesn't even feel the same way from you.

The one who care and feel sorry for me wasn't you anymore.
Is it real that these two horoscope wasn't meant to be together for these long?
I just simply want you accompany me to buy something.
yet, you said I can get it by myself.
Meanwhile, you just called me and said tomorrow we're going out early to get some crabs for your colleagues as your birthday is approaching.
What am I now?
All the time you left for me is just sleeping while I daydreaming by myself looking at you sleeping.


If there's somehow I doesn't even care what time you reach your working place anymore
I wasn't with you already..
You're the one who let me felt so much left out.
It wasn't about love anymore...
and you always check back on her..
making me so heart broken..
I really feel like I'm just the one linger around your heart.
The one who really deep inside living under a secure house wasn't me at all..

Please..
Look at me..
This will be the ever last time I beg..

Why school.!?

So damn life. ==

I'm frustrated already.!!!

Why I must always accept what you all wanted me to do so obediently.??????


WHY.!!!!!!?????



Damn.!!

I shouldn't had promise to study again as what I want for my life wasn't it at all.!

I'll die here for 2 years

How damn was it and how damn will it be.!? T_______T

I wanna work and the most important thing is

I WANTED TO LEAVE HERE.!!!!!!!

I don't feel like staying here anymore.!

JiLaKak la~~~

Hope that the half year practical training come faster.. ==

The only thing is that I got you.

Thanks for appearing in my life and make it so colourful. :)

I love you~

快要4个月拉 ^—^

这是你送来的天使
它守护着我们的所有

它会一切看着我们

为我们完成向它述说的一切···

:)

还记得昨夜我说得对不起吗?

它 述说着昨天一整天下来
你所忍受下来的一切

我知道 知道从下午开始你的心情就不好

你从不说出口 但我感受得到

因为彼此的心是联系着的

有太多太多的对不起

最最错误的是

我让你自责了

为什么要让一切都是因为你才错了?

请记得 那个爱着我的是你 让我受伤的是他

是你安抚了我的情绪

你的一句"那我们回家吧"

就让我知道 我的一切在你心里胜过所有

但是我并不能孩子气

不能让你在你朋友面前难做人

我更知道 我的一句"我没事"

不能让你那已混乱的思绪静下来

那样的心情 那样的时候

我们什么也做不了

可是宝贝 你可知道?
眼神里的哀伤骗不了人

我看你笑着 假笑着望着我 可是你那哀伤的眼神让我好心疼

对不起我竟让你承受着那一切痛楚

多久没泪流满面?
你可否知道

你是我第一个当面哭得像小孩的男人

你是那第一个在我哭泣时候紧紧抱着我的人

你是那第一个为我擦干泪水的男人

你是那第一个用你的方式让我脸上又有笑容的男人

所以 我是真的真的很爱很爱很爱你

好不好

我们别再为那些与我们生命不相干的人事物来伤害彼此?

好不好

就算真的不能不去理会那些 我们也要一起牵着彼此的手笑着对过去说"谢谢你让我遇见这未来跟我一起看日出的家伙"

好不好

就让我们更珍惜彼此···?

谢谢你的拥抱

只是因为感觉太深 太爱你

眼泪才那么轻易的掉落。